Best Funny Quotes

I’ve got some more best funny quotes for laugh out loud (lol), i hope you will like it.

* What a beautiful morning … the sun is shining, the birds are singing. Now where is that fast-forward button to 5 pm?

* It is something like shooting birds in the dark in a country where there are only a few birds, I see no God up here

* Intelligence is creative mind not extensive memory..

* Yells a man, it is dynamic. Shouts a woman, it’s hysterical. – Hildegard Knef

* Some relations are like TOM & JERRY. They tease eacho ther but can’t live without each other.

* Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

* Nagging is a more of a universal trait or rather a tool of women to hone their men to their taste.

* A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts

* when you are down and out, drag somebody else, along with you

* Forgive Your enemies but never forget their names

* The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

* Love is a serious mental illness. – Plato

*That’s life: sometimes you lose, sometimes the others win.

* He who says A must, not a pound. He can also recognize that A was wrong. - Bertolt Brecht

* Who does not have bad habits, probably has no personality. – William Faulkner

* Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils

* Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

* Flying is learnin ghow to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

* What you call do with no legs ? Don’t matter what you call him, he ain’t gonna come.

* Everyone needs to belive in something. I believe I will have another beer.

* A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

* Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares ? He is a mile away and you’ve got his shoes.

* I am thankful for all those difficult people in my life, they have shown me exactly who I do not want to be.

* Ideal for weddings are pierced men. You have experience with pain and are familiar with it, to buy jewelry. – Gabi Köster

* “If wrinkles must be written upon our brow, let them not be written upon the heart. The spirit should not grow old.”

* “If you think you know what the hell is going on, you’re probably full of ~love~.”

* If a man expects his Woman to be an angel in this life, Then he should first create Heaven for her.

* It takes two years to learn to speak, fifty to learn to be silent. – Ernest Hemingway