Funny Quotes on Life

Time to enjoy somewhat funny quotes on life..

- Sex and alcohol, it fuels the desire but kills the performance…!!!

- Trust is like a paper once it’s crumpled it can’t be perfect again…

- You never realize what you have till its gone ..Toilet paper is a good example.

- People are made to be loved and things are made to be used. The confusion comes when people are used and things are loved.

- At any given moment you have the power to say this is not how the story is going to end.

- If you live your life fully, you will die only once. But if you are scared of every step, fear will kill you day after day. – Paulo coetho.

- “Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.”- Buddha

- When people ask dumb questions, I feel obligated to give sarcastic answers.

- A Jealous woman does better investigation than the FBI

- Give a man a gun, and he can rob a bank. Give a man a bank, and he can rob the world.

- Be happy infront of people who don’t like you, it kills them

- I once had a life… THen some idiot came and told me to make a FACEBOOK account !!

- Don’t take me for granted, because unlike others, I am not afraid to walk away.

- I come up with the best ideas when sitting on the toilet then forget them after the flush.

- You don’t need to attend every argument you are invited to.

- When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am getting old … … … … … … …. … … … … … … … … … …… … … … … … …. … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … …. … …… … … … … … …. … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … …. … …… … … … … … …. … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … …. … …I know that it is.

- “Power corrupts. Knowledge is power. Study hard. Be evil.”

- Don’t drink and drive, you might hit a bump and spill your drink.

- “Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.”

- “It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop.”

- Criticizing is easy, art is difficult

- You can pick your own nose, but u cant pick yours friends nose

- I found life’s answers in my room; The fan said be cool. The roof said aim high. The window said see the world. The clock said every minute is precious. The mirror said reflect before you act. The calender said be up to date. The door said push hard for your goals & the carpet said kneel down and pray..

- We stopped checking for monsters under our bed because we realized they were within us.

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