A post from: funny quotes and sayings

A smile is a light in the window of the soul, indicating that the heart is at home.

If you are ever in doubt as to whether to kiss a pretty girl, always give her the benefit of the doubt.

I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance.

After being disappointed so many times, you start to lose hope in everything.

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.

Common sense is not a gift, its a punishment. Because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it

Things I’m good at: pushing people away, sleeping, screwing everything up, forgetting to text back

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my disk?

I need a girl whose name doesn’t end in .JPG

My boss asked me to start the presentation with a joke. I attached payslip on the first slide…………

Making some changes to my life. Please leave a message and in case I don’t get back, then know that you are one of the changes.

Never laugh at your wife’s choices… You are one of them ….

Never gamble what you ccan’t afford to lose ……

A mother makes her son “gentle” in 20 years….. But a girl makes him “mental” in 20 minutes…

A post from: funny quotes and sayings

A post from: funny quotes and sayings

“The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” – Lucille Ball

“Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it.” – Confucius

“For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean.” – Maya Angelou

“Man should forget his anger before he lies down to sleep.” – Mohandas Gandhi

“I’m tired of all the nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That’s deep enough. What do you want – an adorable pancreas?” – Jean Kerr

“Change the changeable, accept the unchangeable, and remove yourself from the unacceptable.” –  Denis Waitley

“Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.” – James Baldwin

“It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.” – Mark Twain

“Our death is not an end if we can live on in our children and the younger generation. For they are us, our bodies are only wilted leaves on the tree of life.” – Albert Einstein

“It is possible to store the mind with a million facts and still be entirely uneducated.” – Alec Bourne

Let us sacrifice our today so that our children can have a better tomorrow.

“The sole equality on earth is death.” - Philip James Bailey

Always forgive your enemies;nothing annoys them so much.

Great dreams of great dreamers are always transcended.

“It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without
accepting it.” - Aristotle

The biggest adventure you can take is to live the life of your dreams. – Oprah Winfrey

A post from: funny quotes and sayings

A post from: funny quotes and sayings

- Life is not a movie but sometimes I just wish it is… I could just edit some parts

- Women are completely defenseless…. until the nailpolish is dry

- Do not underestimate yourself by comparing yourself with others. It’s our differences that make us unique and beautiful.

- Only three types of people tell the truth: Kids, the drunk person and the angry..

- Of a rascal and a serpent, the serpent is the better of the two, for he strikes only at the time he is destined to kill, while the former at every step — Chanakya

- Don’t break anybody’s heard, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206….

- ”Life is like a piano, the white keys represent happiness and the black show sadness. But as you go through life’s journey, remember that the black keys also create music.”

- Don’t wait for someone to bring you flowers. Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul.

- ”The problem with the world is taht the intelligent people are full of doubts while the stupid ones are full of confidence.” – Charles Bukowski

- Never try to dominate the one who says sorry to you for their mistake. Becasue, they understand, you are more important than their Ego

- Don’t fear the enemy that attacks you, but the fake friend that hugs you….

- When we destroy something created by man, we call it VANDALISM. But when we destroy something by nature, we call it PROGRESS. – Ed Begley JR

- An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward. WHen life is dragging you back with difficulties, just imagine that its going to launch you into something great

A post from: funny quotes and sayings